THE SURVIVAL OF A TECHNOLOGICAL EXILE
By Bob Vickrey
                                              
July 8, 2012

As stories of new technology took over the table talk at a recent dinner party I attended, it occurred to me that I was absorbing only a small portion of the conversation about the latest gadgets that would somehow better our lives.

While I was hoping for some lightweight banter about the Dodgers’ pennant chances or even indulging in speculation on Lindsay Lohan’s next court date, the talk that evening took a nose-dive into subject matter I’d rather have avoided. The discussion centered on the latest new apps for the Ipad, the marketing opportunities of social media, and the pros and cons of Twitter. Since I own a $15 a month cell phone which serves one and only purpose— making phone calls, I was ready to cry ‘uncle’ long before the main course was served.

When the subject of automobile GPS systems arose, I proudly announced that I had bought an early version of the ‘TomTom,’ while almost simultaneously catching our host snickering into his napkin (although he later claimed it was merely a sneeze.) I was duly informed that my antiquated system had been basically carbon-dated at sometime roughly between the last Hall & Oates tour and the Pliocene Age. I was quite certain my untimely admission would surely have me eventually banished to the kids’ table.

I’ve been attempting to stay somewhat informed on the seemingly daily breaking news about which instrument will enhance my life and make me an acceptable literate and informed member of today’s society. Instead, I find myself feeling like I’m a cave-dwelling troglodyte that got stuck in some 1980s time-warp.

As I drove home, I thought about my parents’ life and how many changes they had experienced in living through almost the entire previous century. My father was only a toddler in those early years of the 1900s when the pioneering inventions of the era would ultimately transform a new generation. Thomas Edison had invented his incandescent light bulb, while the Wright brothers were experimenting with their ‘spruce flyer’ at Kitty Hawk. Henry Ford was also about to roll his first Model-T off the assembly line in Michigan.

In imagining my parents’ lifestyle adjustments as children, I began to identify with their apprehension in accommodating the ongoing innovative changes during their later adult lives.

When I was a kid we were the last family in our neighborhood to have gotten air-conditioning, and I can almost break into a virtual sweat to this day thinking about living in muggy Houston and enduring those long summer nights with nothing more than an attic fan sucking in the hot humid air through open windows. Our first black-and-white television arrived long after most of our neighbors had already been enjoying the annual Rose Bowl parade ‘in living color.’

When I was in grade school we received our telephone calls at our neighbor’s house, and I’m sure they were relieved the day my parents finally got their own rotary dial phone installed. Years later, I bought them a touch-tone phone and saw the abject fear registered on their faces as I gave a demonstration of what seemed like the simple technique of dialing without the possibility of losing a fingernail in the archaic rotary dial system.

Perhaps the cluster of life-changing inventions experienced in their early lives is why I felt the need to shield them in later years against the barrage of cultural shocks like floppy disks, fax machines, and electric toothbrushes.

As I left the assembled gathering that particular evening to enjoy the final dessert course at the make-shift kitchen dinner table with several fun-loving eight-year olds, I felt relieved to be among a group that seemed to fully appreciate my vast knowledge of animated movies and share my fondness of the Star Wars Ewok game.

Meanwhile, feeling validated and reassured by the children’s acceptance of my presence at their table, I boldly proposed to my new friends: “Now who’s up for more of this yummy chocolate pudding?”

Bob Vickrey’s columns have appeared in the Houston Chronicle and Ft. Worth Star-Telegram. He is a member of the Board of Contributors for the Waco Tribune-Herald and a contributor to the Boryana Books website. He lives in Pacific Palisades, California.